Sunday, August 1, 2010

Happy Shark Week Everyone

This week is The Discovery Channel's Shark Week.

When I was 8 years old I watched Jaws with my family. It absolutely terrified me.

I wasn't an easily scared child and I often relished watching B-grade horror movies with my Dad. The 1980s version of the Blob and Critters were two of my cheesy, gory favourites. The more gore, humour and jump factor, the better.

But I couldn't stand Jaws. I spent the entire time with my head buried in a book. Life of Mammals I believe.

A few months ago I started a 30 before 30 list, which I'm still to complete, and on it I wrote "swim with sharks". I think it's my only fear I'm yet to conquer.

If anyone has any info I'd greatly appreciate it!

Thursday, July 1, 2010

I witnessed by first flash mob yesterday

Yay for Channel 31 entering the digital age!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Sexy, sexy pushbike

So I got an email from an ex-colleague that has just started this company selling lovely vintage-style bikes.

Seriously, how sexy is that bike? That model is under $600.

I don't think I have the guts to ride the main roads to get to my work, but for a bit of weekend cycling along the river, I could almost be convinced.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

On being lonely...

Living by myself and being newly single you think it would all be quite depressing. It isn't, usually. I like my own company, I have a small group of friends I see when I choose, I get out and about but generally prefer staying at home, drinking tea, or walking around the neighbourhood.

But, I've been inxplicably lonely recently. Usual walks through the park, playing music and watching Ghostbusters is not doing it's usual trick. 

Sadness sometimes hits you like a tonne of bricks and there's little to do but embrace it.

The best way I've found to not feel lonely is to realise that everyone else is as well. I've been reading Eleanor Rigby by Douglas Coupland and listening to a few choice tracks about being by yourself.

Sueprgrass, 'Late in the Day'

Beck, 'Guess I'm Doin' Fine'

Neil Young, 'Only Love Can Break Your Heart'

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Awesome people that I know: Kyle McGee

I know this guy, Kyle McGee. He's a political activist whose M.O. is painting over advertisements. I'm sure Melbournites would be aware of a particularly prominent billboard in the inner east that he regularly painted over in the past.

Local community radio show Down By Law on 3CR recently interviewed Kyle, you can find the podcast here.

Kyle's story is at times very frustrating and sad, and gave me a real insight into the legal system. I'm glad he decided to share.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

I Can't Type Too Good - Round 1

I'm a fast typer, but not a very accurate one. Pip was so amused by one of my unintelligable ramblings she drew me a picture in it's honour.

I can't be bothered giving any context for this.

Just enjoy this picture of the very rare Moble Prize.

Things I'm looking forward to

In lieu of a more vibrant, interesting, thoughtful and ultimately life changing (for you) post, here is a list of things I'm looking forward to.

I haven't read the books, I don't intend to*. Edgar Wright + Jason Schwartzman + comic nerdness = win.

More details on Attack the Block

Joe Cornish of Adam and Joe fame (+ super talented writer) and his first feature film is currently in production.

Any posts from my new favourite blogger Definatalie

Stylish, super talented in the art department, great writer, fat activist (I never even thought about such a thing existing until recently) and all-around awesome lady.

What are you looking foward to?

*die-hard Pilgrim fans, please don't hurt me.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Deal with it!

I recently broke up with my boyfriend and I think I've come up with a few totally awesome and contructive ways of dealing with it.

Lie back on the couch and take advice from an expert

1) Try to be friends way too soon. That way, you'll realise pretty quickly that not only does the whole "friends with exes" thing rarely work, you'll also remember why you broke up with this person in the first place. OR at the very least, after 1 or 2 mental breakdowns you'll decide that contact is not an option and move onto step 2

2) Pretend they're dead. You know that expression "you're dead to me"? Live it. Find a grave with your exes name on it, write him an obituary for the local council paper and inform his parents.

3) Drink. Or if drinking isn't your thing trying eating your emotions.  Or both at once. All of this is particularly good for your self esteem and snagging yourself your next Mr. Right.

4) Compare yourself to everyone. Particularly any other person you see your ex with.  Try to improve yourself based purely on the notion that if you change, somehow you will either a) be taken back b) make your ex so jealous they throw themself off the nearest tall thing.  This gets exhausting pretty soon - hopefully it'll lead to a "fuck it" moment, and you'll realise how much time you've wasted wishing you were someone else.

5) Repeat this mantra. "It doesn't matter". It doesn't matter what your ex is doing, who they're fucking, what they're eating and whether they're getting enough fibre. Remember rule 2.

Enjoy your single life, in particular those early morning farts and eating bread right outta the bag.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Top 5 reasons why I'll never co-habitate again

6 months ago I moved into my own flat, here are some reasons why I'll never again share house.

1) Nudity. Oft sited as the number 1 best thing about living by oneself. Get home on a hot summers day to an empty house and I dare you not to strip down to your birthday suit and lounge your sweaty arse crack about on pieces of furniture.

2) Freedom of airborne toxic events. My ex hated it every time I farted. Now days I see if I can fart whilst walking from one side of my flat to the other as if my movement is being powered by ATE fuel.

3) Bizarre personal hygiene habits. Wash your undies in the kitchen sink? Trim your pubes over your rubbish bin? Watch those freshly cut toenails fly across the room? Be my guest.

4) Poor nutritional habits.  Never again will I be judged for my three course toasted sandwhich feast, mixing up cake batter just to eat it raw or making melted lindt chocolate sandwhiches.

5) Beyonce is my girl and I'll listen to her on repeat if I want to.

Do you have any disgusting solo-living habits that would make Buffalo Bill blush?

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Photo a Day: 16th May 2010

I spent the weekend at my parents in Hobart. This is my Mum's cat, Sally. We've had her since I was about 11 or 12 so that makes her at least 14 years old but she looks like a kitten here! She's was the runt of the litter, a tortoiseshell taken away from her mother too young. She never really got accustomed to people and is very skittish. She rarely comes into the house if there are strangers around but she does love cuddling up with my Mum and Dad.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Photo a Day - 12th May 2010

I had planned to take a photo at my gig tonight, to prove how totally exciting my life is. Instead here's me in my pyjamas with a cheese toastie at 1am.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010


I'm trying to get my twitter, tumblr and blogger all in sync with each other. Let's see if this works...

Photo a Day - 11th May 2010

Two days in a row. This is a record for most projects I attempt. Sam and I enjoy some decent wine, chitter chatter and bangers and mash.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Photo a Day - 10th May 2010

When I'm sad I like to sleep in my loungeroom so I'm surrounded by light a noise.
10th May 2010
Originally uploaded by sharpemmalee

Friday, May 7, 2010

You and me..

..and a glass of gin.

What I wouldn't give to be with you right now.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Myth busting

There's a popular theory with a certain friend of mine that age 26 will be the worst year of your life.
So far. So true.

To celebrate, here's a German old skool rock 'n' roll band covering Beyonce.

This weekend I'll change my luck.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010


Have you seen this shit?

Fucking unbelievable.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Ducks fly together

Since the beginning of this year I have been playing Futsal with a local league. Even though our team often have to play late on a Sunday when I'd rather be in my PJs watching Doctor Who, and even though we almost always lose, it's the highlight of my week. 

This week, we won our first game of the season. 5-4. Coming back from 2 down after half time to win the game.

Good vibes.

How is it...

...that this poor excuse for a human being

is responsible for these beautiful creatures

How frightfully unfair.

Saturday, May 1, 2010


That's what happens when you have too many blogs! Excuse the weird, unrelated to this blog post that I now deleted :)

Thursday, April 29, 2010

It's been a while

It's been a while since I've made a post. Fighting off illness, being lazy, visiting Hobart has gotten in the way.

About a month ago my Mum went into hospital with stomach pains after about 6 months of "not feeling right".  I got a call from my Dad on the Wednesday night saying it was probably just gallstones.  After a scan the week before the doctor found a large number of small gallstones that he thought were causing the pain and she was scheduled in for surgery in a weeks time. My dad said not to worry. I didn't.

Thursday night, another call from my Dad. He hates the phone, so it was unusual that he would just call to shoot the breeze or tell me someting I already knew. His voice sounded very commanding, like it does when he's trying to explain something to me, I think he thought that might be comforting.  It wasn't. It was scary. I was scared before he even said the words, "they've found a tumour".

I didn't know what to think. At this stage, a tumour is a tumour - it didn't mean anything to anyone except my Mum who was about to be cut open. It all happened so fast it didn't feel like it was happening at all.

My dad cried, I cried, I called my ex, I booked a flight home. I wasn't thinking straight, and I booked a flight in the wrong direction. My lovely ex who has taken care of me a lot over the past month, calmed me down, fed me an icypole (oh, I should also mention I was in the middle of the world's worst flu) and eventually I went to sleep.

He stayed and helped me pack in the morning and then, in a daze, I was at the airport, then on a plane.

The ride home was painful. It was slow and on the decent my ears and sinuses went crazy. The pain was unbearable and I was convinced that I'd have some sort of brain aneurism on the way down. I've always been a worst-case-scenarion thinker. I thought about how inconvenient that would be.

I went straight to the hospital. I lovely private hospital on the main road out of the city.  I pumped every bottle of antiseptic I saw on my way in in some vain attempt to kill any germs I might be harbouring. My dad warned me that the nurses might not let me hug Mum since I was sick.  I walked into the room, and it felt weird. The only time I had been in a hospital room over the last few years was to visit my ex's grandmother. She had a stroke years ago, she can't speak and can't move her hands. She just points and smiles. She's lovely, but it's always so sad to visit her.  It felt weird to think that my Mum would be in a hospital bed.

When I saw her she looked tired, but well.  she was hooked up to a drip and had tubes coming out of her nose.  It was like a TV show. She hugged me, but after that I stood far back.

Over the next three days I spent a lot of time in that hospital. I fixed her hair, bought her pyjamas at K-mart, spent a lot of time bonding with my Dad, who took more than one day of in a row for the first time in years. Probably ever.

That weekend was surreal and before I knew it I was back home and back at work.

Since then, the results came back. She has stage 3 bowel cancer. They found it in 6 out of 16 lympnodes which is worrying enough for the doctors that she has to have chemo.  At the moment she's on pills, soon she'll get some implant in her chest and she'll go on a drip for a bit.

She hates her oncologist, thinks she's incompetent, but she's well. apart from being thinner she looks absolutely fine.  It's a cliche but I never believed cancer could ever happen to me. I've had close friends parents go through it, there's even a volunteer at work that's had 3 bouts of cancer in his short life.  Despite that, it never feels like it actually exists.

The worst thing about it is all the waiting. It took over a week for the results to come in, it took another 2 before she started treatment. She'll have 6 months of chemo before we know for sure. But it's positive. Everyone refuses to believe there's any chance she wouldn't make it. To look at her, I'd think the same.

I asked her when I was over what the survival rate was. She said 50%. I didn't really think that was good enough, 50%? Is that all? I didn't say anything else, but it upset me.

That little percentage has left me an emotional wreck for the past week.  I have tunnel vision, and at the end of that tunnel is another worst-case-scenario.  Apparently you aren't meant to think about that.

How can you not? At the risk of sounding incredibly morbid and self-indulgent I spend a lot of time thinking about my own death. Sometimes I have terrible panic attacks about it. Sometimes I can't sleep.  How does someone not think about mortality? That seems impossible to me. 

Anyway - I'll be back in Hobart soon, to see how she's going. She's back at work, emailing me cute pictures of animals and bad jokes every day, but I'm struggling to finish this because it's not really over.  Just part 1 in a series really. Hopefully a very short series with a happy ending.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Is this cool?

10 things

Copying Pip who is playing along with Pip

1) I have owned a total of seven deadly snakes over the past ten years all named as some variation of "erbert" i.e. Herbert and Sherbert. Actually, those were the only two names I could think of so I rotated.

2) I never wear the Colour Purple because I have a morbid fear of Oprah Winfrey

3) I believe the earwigs are made out of real ears

4) The most mini muffins I ever ate were 7.

5) I have a 7 inch scar on my calf from when I was attached by a rabid armadillo

6) I still like armadillos. Smoothe on the outside, crunchy on the inside.

7) I can fit both of my fists in my mouth at once.

8) My brother invented the little plastic ring seal around bottles that attaches to the cap to ensure your beverage has not been tampered with

9) I once ate a bee. For a dare.

10) None of the above is true.

Monday, April 12, 2010

My friend Pip

Despite copping years of abuse, face-licking and name calling from me, my friend Pip continues to hang around like a bad smell. Doing things like asking me to be her Maid of Honour and making me lovely but unrequested new banners for this blog (look at it now).

Honestly, will she ever get the hint?

I'm giving up on TV

 From Bossanostra

Too late for lent, but the TV is out. Relegated to a powerpoint-free corner of my bedroom. I mean, I don't really need the Today Show and So You Think You Can Dance in my life, do I? Not even ironically?

Instead I'm watching this and listening to this

The fortress

Last night I built a fort in my lounge room using the curtains I had accidentally torn down the night before. I had a great sleep and had vivid dreams of dead cops and meth labs.

In the morning the fruit bowl I used to anchor one side of the curtain landed on my head.

It was still worth it.

Thursday, April 8, 2010


I just laybyed a leather jacket at Target.*

*Operative words highlighted to ensure no mistakes are made about exactly how rock 'n' roll i'm not.

Say hello to my new friend

With winter around the corner and my first 10k run still quite a while off, I have invested in a rental exercise bike.

This is my latest piece of furniture.

Gateway to extreme fitness or most expensive and impractical clothes rack I've ever owned. Only time will tell.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Can't get enough of this song...

Charlotte Hatherley (formerly of Nirvana wannabes Ash) and her song Bastardo. Directed by nerd-crush Edgar Wright.

The rest of the album is pretty so-so (me in the late '90s would have loved it) but this song has been in my head for two days straight.

View the making-of video via Edgar Wright's You Tubes channel "EdgarWrightHere". Lots of standing really still.  I also enjoy - no - am completely in love with the cute kids and musical clip for the Bluetones, After Hours.
No thanks, Zoe, take your whimsy and shove it. Karen O is the one for me.

Wedding of the Century

I remember a time when we said we'd never get married.  I'm so glad she changed her mind.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010


As soon as I feel like I've made a break through with lots of exercise and healthy eating (you know, actually getting out of bed at a reasonable hour and not just sitting down to eat toasted sandwhiches) I get sick.

After one little trip into work today I plan to come home and sleep the day away.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

30 Day(ish) Yoga Challenge

I love giving myself tasks with time limits. To me, it's up there with writing lists and colour-coding spreadsheets.

Heather over at Hangy Pants just completed her Yoga Month. I just came back from my usual Sunday yoga class and I think I'm gain to follow in her footsteps until the end of March.

Yoga Yak has some free yoga downloads that I have done before, which are easy to follow and nice and short.

Anyone else in?

FYI Today's class was not as difficult as I thought. I was feeling a bit out of sorts but felt strong a flexible, nice. Following it up with a spa and sauna with one of my favourite ladies + giant chicken salad and arguably the world's best hot chocolate didn't hurt, either.

Friday, March 5, 2010


I'm considering 365 inspired by the gorgeous Coreena, whom I discovered through fuckyeahchubbygirls, my latest obsession.

1) I'm completely narcissistic. I'm not ashamed to admin that I cannot walk past a window on the street without checking out my own reflection. Not that I'm always pleased with what I see, I just can't help myself. 2) I'm been wanting to get my shit together and start flexing my photography muscle again. Did you know I was accepted into art school on the basis of wanting to study photography? I told them to shove it. 3) I clearly need even more thing to do in my life, you know with my millions of hours of free time.

I'll give this some thought.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Back from nowhere in particular

I have tried fashion and food blogging, travel blogging, interior design blogging, budget blogging - an more. I think that list gives you a pretty good idea of who I am, or rather who I'm not. And that's someone who has any clue as that what she's doing.

I do however, love bunnies and one day hope to live in a house where I can have two little fluffy house bunnies called Bob and Weasel. Or one giant one, called SPIFF.